The art of dealing with people. How to not take things personally?

 

According to me, people are the scariest animal in the world. Do you guys agree too? Well, that's the truth.

Let me start with the favorite thought of mine. "People talk to you according to their mood and don't even remember what they said. So, you remember this." Who said this quote? Haha it's just my thoughts.

How to not take things personally? Today, I was just reading this book called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. He described things so beautifully and it seemed too easy to follow. But as you know things are easier said than done. Never mind, as I said in my previous post, it's in our hand to implement the things we learn or leave it read just like that. Learning without implementation is just a fact you know. In order to gain the expertise, you must implement and practice what you learnt.

In the book "The Four Agreements," the author says never take things personally. What exactly he is trying to convey is that a person tells things to the other people according to his/her mood. So, if you start giving importance to other people's opinion and thoughts then you will start to believe what's not true. 

For example, a person says good things such as "you look good today" when he is happy and say the exact opposite when he is not in the good mood. What happens here when you start to believe the person? You will never realize what's true and you start believing the other people's thoughts which keeps on changing according to their state of mind. 

When you already know that you look good today, then when somebody says that you look good today should not affect you as much as somebody says that you don't look good today. The thing is you should believe your thoughts and never fall prey into the thoughts of others. Instead, if you choose to believe the other people's thoughts and allow it feed in your mind; you will be under other persons' control, and you can never act on your own.

What is the connection between this and taking things personally? Well, if you know the things the other person says is about them and it is not about you; everything is solved. Trust me, nobody knows you better than yourself. 

By doing this, you not only stop taking things personally, but you can also start building better relationship with yourself and others. 

Also know that the words and things that the other person tells you is totally about them and it's not about you. See, when a person says, "you are the worst person I have never seen in my life." It's about the person who says this and not you. Little confusing, isn't it? Let me put in a clear tone, when a person says that you are the worst, it's because he is not in the good mood, or he hadn't got the outcome he had expected from you. The problem is with him and not you. The same person could say the exact opposite when he is happy. Clearly, he is reacting on his own mood which has nothing to do with you. 

So, if you allow other people words to affect you, you can never be at peace. You should know your true worth. Don't let other people's mood affect you. This thing goes the same for the good things that the people tell you. When you believe the good things and compliments that the people give you, you will automatically believe the bad thoughts they give you. You are getting my point right?

You may ask here why shouldn't I take compliments from others? It's not that you can't take compliments from others. It's just that you should be already knowing what others tell you is true or not and believe only your thoughts and not theirs. In short, don't care about other thoughts about you.